Derrick's Birth Story Part 2- The Journey Home

Oh room 217. The room I had to stay in for 3 nights and 4 days. The nurses were great and so were the hospital staff, but man, by day 2 I wanted to go home. 

Recovery: EVERYTHING hurts, EVERYTHING, and on top of that they bring the baby to you to breastfeed. I see other moms in other rooms doing fine since they delivered vaginally. ME- I'm dying; I"m crawling usually. I didn't even have my catheter for my urine taken out until day 2. I'm bloated, I feel heavy, I feel groggy and drowsy from the meds. I'm still not eating the day of the surgery. 

So March17th- NO FOOD and they bring the baby to breastfeed. Still everything is so surreal

March 18th Day2- fluid only diet. omg. when can I eat real food?at least I can drink fluids. GULPING everything down. After 3 full days of starving, since my water broke, anything tastes good.

OW my incision hurts, and since they had to push aside all the organs to get to my uterus to take baby D out, I feel like I've been punched inside out severely. I look and feel gross.... and they bring the baby to nurse with me. I'm producing colostrom ok, but I need to be producing real milk for baby D to eat. 

At the end of Day2 they run bilirubin test on baby D. The numbers were too high from the first 2. Mommy isn't producing enough milk, they say, so we need to supplement with formula. OK. 

Day 3 March 19th- Catheter comes out, I need to pee on my own and pass gas on my own. I'm on soft food diet, thank God, but still, it's not like real food. They said I can shower too! Ok. Getting in and out of bed to do stuff was extremely difficult. Who knew your abdominal muscles were used for pretty much everything? My wrist and arms are shot from all the weight I put on it. Meanwhile, husband has been sleeping over in the little corner with the recliner. He has not been sleeping well. And since they've brought the baby to us to stay and only take him when they need to run tests, we need to take care of him. Since I'm kind of stuck to the bed, hubby has been helping nonstop. 

Had to pee but I had to breastfeed baby D so I held my pee and breastfed him. BAD IDEA. Felt like my bladder was rupturing and my insides were burning with pain and I couldn't even get up fast to go to the bathroom which was literally 2 feet away. Seemed like 2 miles. peed, cried, asked for meds, passed out.... 

They tell me to get up and try to walk. ok. it makes me sweat. I'm crying with pain. no they said walking will help you get better. OMG walking is so painful. 

I take a shower with the help of my mother- and it feels good, but it hurts to take a shower. I couldn't look in the mirror, I wasn't ready to see my scar. Then I turned around and saw it by mistake. It was horrendous, I started crying..

Husband comes back from the store. Told him about it. Cried again. My body will never be the same. Everything still hurts so much. 

PASSED GAS FINALLLY!

Day 4. They want me to poop. I can't poop. I haven't eaten anything solid... Today I'm on hard food... They give me prune juice, warmed up. I take it. In about half and hour I take the most painful and possibly the biggest dump I have in my life. Baby D's bilirubin results came out real bad so we have to leave him at the hospital for phototherapy for God knows how long and I get discharged tonight. Hubby and I are upset. 

Day 4 March 20th, home at last without baby D. We tried to get some sleep but I'm in so much pain still and hubby can't sleep since Derrick isn't home with us. 

Day 5 We go see baby Derrick the next day with my breast milk pumped. March 21. Poor little thing.  Still high levels. Still phototherapy needed. We need to leave him again, still can't get much sleep. 

Day 6 Baby Derrick can come home to us! In laws will stop by to see Derrick home. We come home with Derrick and the in laws don't even ask me if I"m ok they go straight to the nursery with the husband. My mom and I are left alone- I feel so sad that I start crying. I'm upset- no one cares about the mom, only the baby it seems. The husband also seems like he cares only about the baby. I feel all alone. I'm so depressed. I cry. 

BABY DERRICK IS HOME AT LAST!

Stay tuned for Derrick's adventures at home :]

Please keep us in your prayers- especially me; I'm physically worn down and still healing, emotionally unstable, and mentally burdened. Also please pray for the husband and me as we are now parents and we have so many conflicting views on parenting; and on our marriage, as it seems to be so focused on who's right in raising the baby in what way. It's because we both want to be involved, which is great, but also we need to come to a happy medium. 

Please pray for my mom, who is having a difficult time physically, who has come to help me and the husband, and is risking her own health in doing so. 

Derrick's Birth Story Part 1

It's been a while since my last post, and there is a reason why.
Baby Derrick is now officially a part of our family!

Last update was about a scheduled c-section due to Derrick's oblique breech position. It was on the 18th of March, when I would turn 39 weeks.
Because of this scheduling, my dad had to postpone his flight, which was almost an impossibility since he had to be back to his work for urgent NK matters... (more on that later)

So we were all preparing to go in for the c-section when...

The night of 15th (Friday night from 8-11PM), I started getting stomachaches. I thought it was because I had too much to eat for dinner. Couldn't get comfortable AT ALL....
Finally fell asleep, when all of a sudden I feel a POP, and a gush of water between my legs (12AM, Saturday, 16th) I jolted up screaming, "My water just broke!"
Hubby:"Are you sure? you've peed yourself before... why don't you go check"
Me: "OK"

So I go sit on the toilet, but this was not like regular pee where I have control over my bladder, it was more like incessant faucet that wouldn't turn off. MAJOR volumes of water gushed out... I stood up, and I looked into the toilet, and the water looked like it had very tiny chunks of cottage cheese like substance in it. HM.... I thought when your amniotic sac breaks it's supposed to be clear?

I put a pad on and I say, "I don't think it's my water". Just as soon as I said that, MORE GUSH. Entire pants got wet, hubby saw it and was calling triage at our delivery hospital, I woke my mom and dad up from the guest room, told them water broke, they were like, "but you have a csection scheduled"
Me: "Well mom and dad he's coming today!!"
Then Chaos. Guinness our dog was barking, mom and dad dressing, I'm already at our elevator door, husband is getting my ID and insurance card ready, I'm yelling "OMG MORE WATER IS GUSHING OUT HURRRRYYYYY" This was 12:15 AM March 16th

Got to the hospital, went to the emergency room, told them "my water broke" security guard comes right away with a wheel chair, wheels me to family birth place, and by 12:30 AM I'm admitted- triage nurse wants to check to make sure if it indeed was my water breaking- told me to change into hospital gown, strip ALL clothing off. sure. I did it, came out of the bathroom when. GUSHHHH all over the triage check up room...
me:"um yeah i think this is my water breaking?"
nurse:"Oh yeah honey your water broke"
me: "am I delivering tonight? I was scheduled for a csection..."
nurse:"the on call doctor will check you out first, and we contacted your OB"
hubby:"holy crap Derrick's coming out?"
me:"I guess...?!"

I'm in one of labor and delivery rooms. IVs are hooked up. I'm feeling cramps on and off, irregularly. My mom and dad are in the waiting area. Husband calls in laws. On call doctor comes in, asks me why I was scheduled for csection, he would like to do an ultrasound- maybe we can deliver vaginally!
Me and husband in utter shock. Our OB told us there is 0% of that happening!

On Call Doc: "yup the baby's head is in the right position- completely thinned out, and 1 cm dilated"
hubby and me: ".....?!"
On call doc: "we will just let you wait for couple more hours for your contractions to pick up and go from there."
Me:"I don't feel any..."
On call doc: " oh it takes time."
Me:"even when my water is gushing out?"
on call doc:"yup"
This was 1:30AM 16th of March Saturday

Then the waiting game begins.... cramps come and go, painful ones, not so painful ones, excruciating ones, weird ones... and it all shows on the graph from the monitors....
at 4AM 3/16/13
on call doc: "cervix is extremely thinned out but no dilation progress... we are going to call your OB and get you started on pitocin to induce contractions..."
me: " can I get my drugs first then"
on call doc:"you don't want to wait?"
me: "how long do I have to wait?"
on call doc: "well the anesthesiologist has 4 csections scheduled from 7 am so probably not until after 10am?"
me:" @_@.... I don't think I can wait that long.... can I get it as soon as I can?"
on call doc:"I'm gonna call your OB and check with her first and get back to you."
husband:"yeah you should get it" (by this time, i was groaning and crying and moaning and gasping for air and muttering over and over again save me, help me, make it stop, I can't do this.... but surprisingly, i didn't scream. just like a dying cat sound over and over again. husband was so terrified and scared for me...he didn't know what to do.)

At 530AM
pitocin is doing it's thing, I'm getting regular VERRRRYYYYYY painful contractions, i'm crying and saying please save me.
a nurse comes in and says "I'm gonna give you something called stadol through your IV you'll feel good and sleepy. Rest up and hopefully you'll be dilated!"
oh man and it hit me so hard- I was tripping, twirling, woohoo! I was saying some nonsense... hubby says I was sleep talking and it was like I was Alice in Wonderland.

At 7AM
My OB comes in, does an internal, says: " So the baby wants to come out today?"
me: " I guess"
internal exam
OB: "completely thinned out, 5cm dilated"
what. it felt like i was like 8. oh no. does it have to hurt MORE?
OB:" HM. it's weird. baby's head is bearing down the right direction, but the rest of him is still breech"
me: "what is he DOING in there?"
OB:"OK let's wait and see.you want epidural?"
Me: "Oh yes please"

At 8AM
Anesthesiologist comes and gives me epidural, I feel numb for about 2 hours, then all of sudden, i feel EVERYTHING, i mean EVERYTHING. I start crying and whispering softly to hubby i can't do this anymore..... hubby calls nurse we try increasing amount, frequency, NOTHING WORKS, and

10AM
Anesthesiologist comes again, and takes out old catheter, does a NEW ONE, and
I try to get numb, but I can't, I'm thinking maybe it's supposed to be like this, but it's unbearable, hubby is all :"I thought you were supposed to be numb?"
me: barely audible whisper:" save me. please"

no one comes to my rescue.... everyone is busy it seems. i mean they did have 4 csections and it was saturday and they only had one on call anesthesiologist...

Time goes by.
no one comes helps me
i'm screaming now
hubby is in tears
i'm in tears
i want derrick out
time ticking by......
I'm losing it,
I don't know who's around me.

10 PM
I"m half dead- nurse says," ok we're gonna check you agian ok?"
me: "diuew#$%" (something incoherent)
nurse: "Still only 5 cm"
me: WHAT.
hubby: WHAT
nurse: "you want stadol again?"
me: "yes please"

1215AM (March 17th Sunday)
OB: "Ok your water broke for more than 24 hours and you are not progressing anymore. baby is tired, you are tired, there is a risk of infection for both of you. do you want to still try to give birth vaginally?
me: in tears "I don't know what do you think? (to both husband and doctor)
hubby: "babe it's up to you but I don't want to see you in pain anymore"
me:" I don't know if I can do this any longer"
OB: "well at this rate we're looking at more than 10 hours of labor, which in that case, there's a definite risk of infection, so I say let's go for a c-section"
me: "......"
hubby: "......"

OK LET'S DO IT

1220AM
In the OR.
Epidural didn't take so we are going for spinal tap.
the spinal tap anesthesiologist is a different one. maybe they rotated out?
getting major contractions.
it's hurts. they say bend your back. i'm naked i'm freezing in the OR, i can't freaking bend my back cuz of my baby damnit. I try my best, the guy can't find the right spot in my spine, they poke me 5 times in the back, finally got me numb.
husband comes in, he's shaking, i'm laying down on the operating table, all naked, i'm like Jesus on the cross, spread out.
OB: "can you move your toes?"
i can
OB: "can you feel this?"
yes
OB: "how about this?"
um....
OB:"how about this?"
hm....
then i feel tugging pushing pressure more pressure more pressure more pressure
at 12:54 AM march 17th, husband and i hear Derrick's first scream!
OB: it's a boy!
hubby: emotional- OHBABE he's OUT
WAAAAAHHHHHHHH
me: delirious- is he out? does he have all toes and fingers?
hubby: oh wow babe he's not small he's big!
me: oh i'm so cold,
hubby: oh he's so perfect
me: (something incoherent)
nurses bring the baby close to me to kiss him and say hi to him.
hubby: good job babe good job
me: i'm so cold i'm so cold my shoulders hurt
OB: it's called referred pain- since you don't feel pain where you should, your brain is sending signals to compensate for the pain...
me: i'm cold i'm hurting in the shoulders.....

about 40 minutes later.. hubby is pushed out of the OR, i'm rolled into recovery room
about 2 hours later, i'm semi awake, hubby comes in and says babe are you ok?
GROAAAAAANNNNNN i'm in SO MUCH PAIN...
worse than the contractions?
oh.... I don't know. maybe. maybe not.

finally at 4AM March 17th, I'm rolled into my own room...
nurses brought baby Derrick to me to nurse for the first time....
and oh my he was PERFECT.

Happy birthday Derrick!
St. Patty's Day Baby :]

So to sum it all up-
Scheduled c-section>water broke>tempted to deliver vaginally for 24+ hours>emergency csection>BABY DERRICK BORN AT 38WEEKS and 5DAYS

My Dad cried, my mom and in laws were smiling, I was half dying, husband was overwhelmed with emotions and we were all delighted by our little bundle of joy.

More about Derrick's journey as our family in the next post!

The C Section Decision

38 Weeks and 2 days.

Baby Derrick is still very oblique breech.
Doc said we need to do c-section. Doc knows best, we consented.
She said there is 0% chance for me to deliver vaginally :[
This saturday is the final check up, and then
on March 18th, 8 AM I am scheduled for a primary c-section.
Oh Baby Derrick, are you comfortable the way you are?

I started to bawl like crazy after leaving the doctor's office because

1. I was scared shitless; this would be my first major surgery besides broken bones and minor stitches...
2. I felt like something was going to go wrong
3. What did I do wrong?

According to the doctor, there is nothing wrong with my cervix, uterus, or my body, or my health. It's just the way the baby is positioned due to, his length, size, umbilical cord length... basically, it could be a number of other things.

Husband tried to console me by saying, we get to meet him sooner!
Yes, you are right. :]
Plus baby Derrick is still kicking away happily :]

Also on on brighter note- my parents are here!

AND! we took the newborn care class offered  by the hospital I will deliver at: we learned to bathe, burp, swaddle, take care of belly button and circumcision, and all the basic stuff we need to know to take care of the baby. It was very informative and fun!

I feel a mix of emotions; I'm excited to see him soon, I'm sad and disappointed that I don't get to experience vaginal birth. I'm exhausted from the physical fatigue.
My faith keeps me mentally strong, and my husband and family's support is what is getting me through this.

To Baby Derrick:
Mommy and Daddy, grandmas and grandpas Kim, and your aunt Grace are so excited to see and meet you! Mommy isn't mad at you, it's not your fault, and mommy and daddy want you to come out healthy and beautiful! That is all we ask. Mommy can't wait to hold you in her arms! See you in a week honey!

Until the next post, which will probably be after baby Derrick arrives, keep us in your prayers!

Pre-Labor Symptoms

37 Weeks and 4 days and counting....

I am getting

Contractions,
pelvic pressure
vaginal pressure
rectal pressure

every possible womanly discomfort imaginable. Pretty much PMS symptoms multiplied 10 times.
I also heard it's 10 times harder for the baby than it is for the mom.... so I can withstand this if my baby has to go through so much more pain.

BUT.
I'm still managing myself really well.
Husband and I went to Gap to buy some nursing tops. Bought 3 really comfy and cute nursing tops, and a nursing top dress :]
Went to SportsAuthority to buy a gym ball, since I heard sitting on it will relieve pelvic pressure.

We have a newborn care class to attend this saturday at the hospital I will be delivering at, and also our OB appointment on monday, and also my parents are flying in on monday!

Baby Derrick is still oblique, since I can feel his ever-growing head BEARING down on my pelvic bone T_T

Here are some overdue belly pics!
I finally feel AND look pregnant!

More to update, and until the next post, keep us in your prayers!

And the Countdown Begins!

Today we are 36 weeks and 4 days.
Exactly 3.5 weeks left until due date.
According to the D-day app on my phone we are 23 days away. Eek!

One really good news, and one semi-good news.

The really good news is
We have FINALLY gained 3 pounds! Woot woot!
So here is what happened with my weight.
At 7 weeks pregnant, when my pregnancy was confirmed, I was 138 pounds.
Then from Week 11-Week 25, due to SEVERE morning sickness, I went down to 123 pounds.
Then from Week 25-33, I gained up to 144 pounds.
Then From Week 33-35, I was 144 pounds.
Then From Week35-36, I am currently 147!
So by numbers, 138>123>144>144>147
Total weight gained so far from beginning of pregnancy: 9 pounds.
By some research, normal weight gain with normal BMI is 25-35 pounds. I am way below that, but I'm just thankful I did end up gaining weight overall. It just means Baby D is getting bigger and chubbier :]

The semi-good news is
Baby D has SLIGHTLY turned more towards the cervix, so he's still oblique breech, but not as much.
Come on D! You can find the opening! Go towards the light! The doc says there really isn't much I can do, but I did some research and the cat pose from yoga is apparently is good for turning babies the right way. Can't hurt to try- holding the pose 5-10 minutes 2-3 times a day will likely turn the baby in the right position.... been doing it for the past couple days, and maybe that's why he's SLIGHTLY heading the right direction?
Anyway, the doc said we will do an ultrasound around mid week 38, and see where the baby's head is, and IF after she does an internal exam and she can feel baby D's head, then she's gonna OK the vaginal birth. HOWEVER, if she can't, and if the ultrasound still shows he's oblique, we will schedule an elective c-section at week 39.

Whatever happens, God will make a way for us, and it will be the best way for both Derrick and me.

Parents are flying in 3/11, which is also when my next OB appointment is, and the day after is Husband's and My 2 year wedding anniversary :]

I'm still very content with my pregnancy- I'm not at that "I'm done being pregnant" stage.
I do feel much achier and heavier, but I can still move around without waddling, and I'm still pretty nimble. My belly is a lot bigger, but no stretch marks, my innie is still an innie, and I feel great.

Husband and I can't wait to meet baby Derrick, and each day is a countdown to meeting our precious little miracle from God.

Until the next post, keep us in your prayers!