6 weeks for baby D and mommy

Mommy news first. 

Incision is still very raw looking.

Also- forming a little flappy pooch. Also known as the csection flap, I hear it's possible to get rid of it with hard work of healthy diet and exercise. Most people say the only way to get rid of it is tummy tuck- but i've been itching to work out, and I'm waiting until the doctor told me to, which is not until May 17th. But at the rate I'm healing, I may have to wait longer. I really wanted to lay on my stomach, so I tried it, and oh boy was that a mistake. 

Until I can work out and not feel any pain, I guess I have to live with: the csection pooch, the spongy feeling in the stomach, the numb tingling sensation around the incision, the pain on the incision itself, the pain inside on the uterus..... oh the healing process, the tedious, tiresome, healing process. I must be patient. 

One more thing, I can still feel my uterus contracting- I had a gush of blood come out down there, but it wasn't much to be alarmed about. I guess my discharge will continue, and until I fully contract to my normal size, I will still feel a lot of pain.

On a brighter note, I'm pretty much back to my pre pregnancy shape, albeit the spongy feeling in my abs and the pooch. 

The weather in Chicago is finally nice, and my mom, Guinness, Derrick and I have gone out for walks couple of times. It felt good to be out, and I'm sure it was for Baby Derrick as well. :]

I don't go out for long walks, though, since I'm still aching all over, and we do about 10-15 minutes at most. Like the doc said, I need to still take it easy.

My boobs are engorged nonstop because Baby Derrick is on a eating rampage and stimulates my breasts so much so that they are constantly producing milk. My ducts are overcharged I guess. hopefully it will even out, because all the moms who have discussed this online have claimed that their boobs and engorgements were resolved once the body figured out the milk supply issue. For most moms it was fine after around week8. Keeping my fingers crossed for that! Only couple weeks left!

I've been having bowel movement issues- not constipated, but been having very loose and/or diarrhea. Research tells me that the hormone that triggers the contraction of the uterus affects the bowels to be very loose. OH JOY~

Now for Baby Derrick's Developments

Derrick now officially hates all things oral except my breasts. T^T

He used to be fine with the bottle feeding and also his paci, but he won't take any artificial nipple except mine. This is causing me to be exhausted...but anything for Baby Derrick's well being. 

However, we do have to try to bottle feed him, so I ordered different nipples. According to my research, playtex ones have had the most success rate with the babies who stopped taking bottles. I ordered the latex one, because silicone is too hard and too fake feeling for the babies, whereas the latex has softer feel and texture..

He also eats and eats and eats.... According to my research, he will go through another growth spurt from week 6-8. So for the next two weeks, I will have raw nipples and engorged boobs plus the lack of sleep.... Oh the never ending agony.

Baby Derrick has discovered that he can suck his thumb! He hasn't completely figured it out yet, but whenever he sleeps, he brings his hand up to his mouth. Cute little thing.

Whenever he feeds, he has issues with pacing his sucking and swallowing, so he ends up spitting up, throwing up, or burping really hard, or farting... basically he still needs to figure out his feeding and digesting. But he seems to be gaining weight and growing fine, so i'm not too worried, but it does tug at my heart whenever he cries out loud because he has problems digesting. :[

He has also quickly figured out that he can fuss and be whiny to be picked up and held. You smart little thing you!

He has baby acne and baby dandruff, which according to the pediatrician, will go away, but it makes him look dirty even when he's not....most of my mommy friends also had to deal with this, but they said by around month3, it cleared up. 

He is getting pretty good at tummy time, and is getting much better at holding his head up. Soon he'll be able to keep it up, instead of bobbing like a fish! :]

He also is learning to use the muscles on his face to make diverse expressions. Here are some samples.

His face is also developing fast! His eyes and nose are getting bigger, and obviously his adorable cheeks are too :D

These are the developments, as much as I can remember. I'm sure more will unfold as Baby Derrick grows!

Until the next post, keep us in your prayers :]

The Post Partum/Post Op check up

This monday, April 15th, was my doctor's appointment for post partum/post op check up.

Doctor checked me on my incision, and she was quite surprised that it wasn't healing as well as she thought it would. She thinks I might have keloid skin, but I know for a fact I don't because if I had keloid skin, my tattoos would look really ugly.
She suggested that I put hydrocortisone cream on it, but since it really doesn't work well on my skin, I went for A+D cream. Why? Because I used that for my tattoos, and they are beautifully smooth.
I'm hoping my scar would eventually even and smooth out.

I've been putting it on now for three days and this is how it looks like.

The middle part seems to thin out and smooth out. the sides, especially the left, (my right) still looks really raw and open. I will continue to apply A+D cream and we'll see what will happen.

It has been feeling very pokey lately, and the doc said I need to still take it easy.

These are the doctor's orders: 

-NO working out until at least another month has passed

-NO sit ups, NO running, NO stretching, NO sex, basically nothing strenuous or cardiovascular or anything that involves the abdominal muscles for at least another month

-NO hot baths until at least another month

-WEAR a binder even if you're walking....

she also said my uterus hasn't really contracted back to my pelvic cavity like it's supposed to... which she said is common with c-section patients, she said it takes longer for c-section patients to have their uterus contract to normal size and position. She also said the incision on the uterus and the stitching inside is still healing so I need to take it easy. 

So I heard all this bad news and then she said: "on the bright side, you lost a lot of weight and you have virtually no baby fat left on your tummy! very flat already!" 

^_____^ thanks doc. these words are really encouraging, especially for me, because I really felt depressed about my post partum body. the doc probably saw hundreds of women with post partum bodies and if she said I look good and my tummy looks flat, yay for me :]

She also said I might have lochia, the discharge, for at least another few weeks. She said it's normal to have lochia for at least 6-12 weeks! I usually have no discharge but sometimes I have it when I'm breast feeding or sit on the toilet for a while to poop. That's probably because my uterus is still contracting... 

Then I had to do a little survey for my post partum depression: questions were like- 'it's been hard for me to laugh at funny things like watching a comedy show' 'i seem to cry for no reason' 'it feels like everyone around me isn't helping me' and then you have to rate it from scale of 1-5 from rarely to extremely and then they add the points up and if you pass a certain amount of points, I guess you have to be treated for your depression.... the doc hasn't called me yet so I guess I'm ok with the depression department...

She said I wouldn't have to come in until three months later for my pap smear, so I guess that means until July 15th, I just have to heal and hopefully get to my pre pregnancy body. It's funny because weight wise, I'm lighter than my pre pregnancy weight- I just look heavier and droopier... I need to firm and tone up my body.... So I will have to wait another month or so... I just have to remind myself that it's only been 32 days since I gave birth and it'll take time for me to bounce back.... I need to have patience and it'll be ok...

Breast feeding definitely helps with the calorie burning, but it's kind of counterproductive because I need to eat in order to keep my breasts full. I'm trying to eat low calorie foods, lots of veggies and fruits, but it hard to not eat a snack here and there... I know lots of places online say keep yourself hydrated and it'll help with milk production- well I tried that for a day where I'd drink tons of fluids and cut down a lot on my food intake.... NOT A LOT OF MILK PRODUCED... baby was fussy, and breasts did not get full as much.... so it's a catch22 with the weight loss. I guess I'll have to hold on that. 

So all in all, nothing major was wrong, and although I was discouraged coming back, I know it'll take time for me to heal. And I know I will. Anyway, I'm preoccupied with baby Derrick most of the time, so I don't even notice my body until I jump in the shower... Husband has been very supportive regarding my issues I have with my body, and it helps tremendously. But watching Baby Derrick always cheers me up :]

Oh and here is a video of baby D's poopy face! :]

Until the next post, keep us in your prayers!

Derrick is 1 month old!

I'm so proud of him to have survived being raised by me and the husband. We don't know what we're doing most of the time, but he has been such a trooper. 

Happy 1 month, Baby D!

Today was also Derrick's first official outing to church. He did fantastic! He only had one poopy diaper and he slept through the sermon! Good job, D!

Changes for me: I can fit into my pre pregnancy clothes quite comfortably. My incision still hurts, but it's bearable. 

Here are baby D's tummy time videos!!

Until the next post, keep us in your prayers!

Baby D's Milestones

Today is D+26 for Baby Derrick.

A lot has happened since his birth and here is what has been happening chronologically.

3.17.13
- Baby D born
3.22.13 D+5
-Baby D comes home
3.25.13 D+8
-Baby D's first sponge bath (he hates baths- he cries sooo much!)
4.1.13 D+14
- Belly button falls off!!! (not sure if it's an innie or outie...)

4.2.13 D+15
- Tummy time commences... we didn't want to start tummy time until the belly button fell off...
videos will follow!!
4.8.13 D+21
-First official pediatrician check up.

>>>>> Baby D's developments<<<<<
birth weight:7lbs1.9ozs /current weight: 9.03lbs
birth length:20in/ current length:22in
other comments: jaundice will slowly fade away :]

4.9.13 D+22
-Baby D's first tub bath (still hates baths) PEES ON MOMMY WHILE IN THE BATH....^^;
4.9~4.11.13 D+22~24
-Breast feeds every 30 mins-1 hour! Possibly the first growth spurt?

changes for the mommy:
*body aches double in intensity when the weather is bad
*husband purchased the bellefit girdle for me-csection scar seems to heal and feel better... the weird lip flab thing that was forming over the incision is completely gone! it must be the compression from the band. Also the abdominal area that felt tender and sensitive is tightening and I'm getting sensations back to the areas I was numb.
I wear it almost all the time, even when I go to sleep. getting up from laying position is getting to be easier and bending over to pick baby D up is super easy. Not only that, I feel and look great. GREAT INVESTMENT
*mommy and daddy had a quick normal date to the mall today! felt so different to be out without the baby! grandma kim from korea took care of baby D while hubby and I went out to buy a shirt for the dad in law. his birthday is coming up and we will have a small get together/party this weekend.

This sunday will be Baby D's first official outing to church. The weather has be so fickle recently, going form 60 all the way down to 30. Hopefully the weather will be better so we can take Derrick out more frequently!


Until the next post, keep us in your prayers!

The Three Week Mark

Today marks full 3 weeks since Baby D was born.
In Korea, the third week, or sahm-chil-il (3-7 day) is when the baby is out of the 'danger' zone...
I think it's Korean way of making sure the newborn baby isn't exposed to too many things all at once.

ANYWAY-
The feeding schedule is pretty simple; the longer he stays at my breasts, the longer the breaks in between are. I'm a little worried because he spits up a lot and he seems to have digestive issues- he seems to be gassy, even if I make sure I burp him. Hopefully he won't turn colic; have my fingers crossed.
His sleep patterns are still erratic, but we do love the swaddle me swaddles. Once Baby D is wrapped up snug in his swaddle, he goes to sleep for good 3 hours, which is better than 2 hours and which is far better than1.

We have our first official pediatrician check up visit since his birth, so I will have to ask these questions
1. why does he spit up so often, and is that ok
2. he sneezes a lot, is that ok
3. he seems to be quite gassy, is that ok
4. his skin is flaking too much, is that ok
and for all of the above, 5. what can I do to make it better

Can't wait to see how much he grew and how chubby he got :]

FOR ME:
Everyday is a struggle in its own. My body is aching all over, more now than ever, my nipples are sore, my joints ache, my wrists are forever shot, my arms are getting butch, I haven't showered in two days, I haven't pooped in two days, I'm a wreck.
My c-section incision seems to be getting better, I took all the steri strips off, but it still looks heinous and I get SO distraught every time I look at it. what's even more sad is that since I cant really bend over that much, I have to take a pic of it and THEN look at it. I know my husband says it's a glory scar and I should be proud of it, but seriously makes me sad every time I look at it. :[

I think I over did myself yesterday by watching the Syracuse v. Michigan basketball game, which turned out to be a loss of my team and a waste of 2 hours which I could've slept through instead. So what do I do? I don't hear the baby cry and just sleep at 2 and 4 am: thank God my mom heard him and bottle fed him my expressed milk....

I feel so overworked and sleep deprived; I didn't know breast feeding could be so TIRING and DRAINING. I got really moody and hormonal today, lashed out at the husband, woke the baby up because we were both yelling at each other, bawled my eyes out.

Later on this is what the husband laid out for me and it's become crystal clear-
hubby: "i'm sorry you feel miserable, but it's not about you or me anymore. it's about our baby, and it's only about him. so you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it."

it was really harsh at first, but he's right. it IS about baby Derrick.
BUT- a girl really needs some TLC in her own right, whether she's a mom or not. and even though I know my husband is right, I couldn't help but feel a little be let down. Oh to be a mom.

a little bit about breast feeding:
Some days, it's a breeze, other days, it's so difficult. Some days I'll be over flowing with milk, other days I'm lucky if baby D feels satisfied. Some days baby Derrick will latch on perfectly and it won't even feel like he's sucking, other days baby Derrick decides to give major rug burns on my nipples no matter what position I use. it's really a trial and error system, and I really do think moms get numbed in their nippular area so much so that they don't mind the pain. But I'm pretty sure the pain will linger on.

to sum up:
I'm physically, emotionally, mentally miserable- not gonna lie, it is DAMN difficult. BUT. like my husband reminded me and what I feel everyday is this: it's about baby Derrick, and I'll just have to grit my teeth through it all. I just hope my body feels better sooner, and my OB check up is in 10 days, hopefully by then I'll feel semi human again.
And MAYBE my husband and I can go back to feeling lovey dovey again. maybe. I hope we don't become those couples that solely focus on child rearing.... I really hope so.

Until the next post, please keep us in your prayers, mostly for Baby Derrick but also for myself and the husband...

The Post Partum Woes and Throes

Today marks Post Partum Day 14. Full two weeks have passed since the c-section.
I am going to categorize what's been happening to me, baby Derrick, the husband.... Get ready for the good AND the bad. It ain't all sunshine and smiles, but is it all worth it in the end? YES :]

THE WOES

MOMMY

Physical:
Still in pain. Walking has become slightly easier, but there are times when I get sharp pain in my abdomen. The pain travels, sometimes on my side, sometimes lower abdomen, sometimes near my pubic region, sometimes above my navel.... I've been doing a lot of hind search and reading up on other mom's experiences post csection, and some have jumped back to their normal state pretty fast, within weeks time; some have said it took them 6 months to a full year for a complete recovery.....
I still feel like I've been beaten to death and resurrected. Makes me think of what Jesus must have gone through... but much worse. Thank you Jesus. ANYWAY, to sum it up, I'm still in pain, but each day it's getting better.

I woud love to exclusively breast feed, but baby D loves playing with my nipples instead of suck. So what happens is there will be plenty of milk coming out of breasts, but all he does is fondle it so all the milk just drips out of his mouth and he falls asleep at my breasts..... -_- So we are bottle feeding him expressed milk. Pumping my breasts every 2-3 hours is also very annoying and tiring, but I'd rather do this than not have baby D eat.

Mental:
I got the baby blues- Not too serious, but definitely hormonal. I am stressed out because I'm physically weak, I have a lot of drama around me, and even though my mom who's here to help and my husband try to make me feel better, there are times I just feel like I have to cry. This too, however, is getting better by the day.

Spiritual:
I try to pray as frequently as I can, but there are times I'm so worn out physically and mentally, it's really hard to keep my spirits and my faith up. I only pray that I will get stronger as each day passes by.

Familial:
THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE HARDEST PART. PARENT/PARENTS IN LAW are giving me and the husband such a hard time. They want to be involved so much so that they are fighting US and each OTHER. MOTHER IN LAW HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST RIDICULOUS person right now. She is mad at me and the husband for not calling her everyday about the baby.... please, we barely have time to talk to each other, what with the nightly feedings and lack of sleep....She's also mad at the fact that we raise a dog, WHICH WAS A ISSUE THAT WAS DISCUSSED PREVIOUSLY... and she's also unreasonably mad at my mom who's been here to help with the household work , because she feels that my mom gets to see the baby only. HUSBAND and I ARE so SICK and TIRED of her ANTICS. WHY DOESN"T she CALL US? WE NEVER TOLD HER THAT SHE COULDN"T VISIT... SIGHHHHH.... husband and I are so worn out that we're not even trying to mend this situation. She needs to get over herself. we are not getting rid of the dog, and we are not going to report to her everyday about our parenting. she needs to give us space because now we are parents and we need some respect.

Daddy (from what mommy could tell)

Physical:
husband is a deep sleeper, and it is extremely difficult for him to wake up at night to feed baby D. I try to give him some slack since he has to go to the store and deal with all the drama there; but there are times when I just need him to feed the baby, and when I wake him up, he has SUCH a hard time, and then when he's feeding the baby, he's falling asleep while he is doing so. Poor hubby. But at least he's trying, and he's so involved.

Mental:
it must be so hard for him to deal with his issues with everything that I have discussed above, plus the drama from the store, plus dealing with my hormonal ass, I'm sure he's going a little crazy himself. I'm so proud of him for keeping it all together, even though he sometimes loses it, and we end up arguing a bit, but that's a given, I think.

Spiritual:
his spirits are definitely down; but he gets recharged when he sees our baby. Also, once the weather stays consistently warm, he can go golfing, I allow it :]

MOMMY and DADDY 
we need sleep. we don't get more than 2-3 hours of sleep, if we're lucky 4 hours. baby D eats every 2-3 hours. they say it gets better around month 3. we're not even through month 1 yet. we are constantly @_@.... 

Baby Derrick:
He is a pooping, peeing, eating machine! He's a great baby so far though. He doesn't get too fussy, he still is trying to figure out his face, his arms, his legs. some of the things that surprised us:
1. He's trying to lift his own head up already.
2. He has a strong kick and punch. (I already knew this, he was a kicker/puncher in my belly)
3. When he's not bottled right away, he will automatically turn his head towards my nipple and start sucking over my shirt!
4. he HATES being naked, this makes bath time really difficult....T_T

THE THROES

ALL THE WOES ARE WORTH IT BECAUSE...
of this little guy....

Baby Derrick makes it all worth it for mommy and daddy to be tattered to the ground by everything else. Mommy is a bit more tattered since daddy doesn't do some of the things, but, regardless, both of us are so blessed and thankful....

Also, a shoutout to aunt Grace aka my younger sister. The five days she was here visiting us, were blissfully helpful. It was so great to see her in a year...

The little time I have in between feedings, when baby D is usually asleep is when I get my things done, basic things such as: showering, pooping, eating, pumping, resting, napping, trying to sleep.... none of which could be possible without my husband and my mom....

Well, I gotta wrap this up before Baby D wakes up!
Until the next post, keep us in your prayers!