To be honest, I'm not too sure if I'm ready to be pregnant again. It was so traumatic and horrible that I distinctly remember all the bad sides of being pregnant, and even recovery after delivering was so difficult for me, that it's making me seriously reconsider what it would mean for me if I do get pregnant again.
The morning sickness that lasted all three trimesters, the back pains, the sleepless nights, the uncontrollable urinary movements, food aversions, mood swings, skin troubles.... The list goes on.
If I see it from a family perspective, of course I would love to have another baby. Derrick will have a sibling and our family will grow. From a personal and individual point, I'm scared, and might even sound selfish, but do I really need to go through that? Again?
I'm conflicted. Every minute my decisions waver. Not to mention financially, are we ready? Husband reassures me we are and it's really up to me. He says he doesn't want to wait any longer since he thinks derrick and the next sibling shouldn't be more than 3 years apart. I agree.
And once again, I'm at a crossroad.
I need to pray about this, and make a decision. As of now, I'm not too sure, but I want to try.
